Boss Of Everything

JoosyJune

Posted on June 10th, 2010 by prinny.
Categories: News.

May skidded by with barely a nod nor wink. Fine, be that way, May. Who needs ya?

I have been busy in that pathetic way where you’re busy but busy doing absolutely nothing you really want to be doing. It’s draining and spirit crushing. Where’s my own creative outlet? Where’s my bag of free money? Where’s my friggen waistline!? Speaking of the latter, I had a nice night out with a salacious bunch of tarts AKA The Play Group Moms. We’ve become a much more autonomous group this year with our kids going off to different kindergartens (or jail) but getting together is like Old Home Week. Love ‘em. Love ‘em one and all. Even the really tall, thin, hot one. Damn you, Dawson! Also had a nice night on the curry n booze with Rinne Roo. I spent 99% of it complaining about my ‘career’ and she topped off my glass (in an effort to quell the whinging, one assumes) the other 1% we spent jubilantly trowelling through any local gossip would could muster – oh and judging other peoples lives. Heh That’s the advantage of being SO above them all. The judgement. The harsh but fair judgement.

The kids continue to amuse on a mostly, daily basis. Their antics are here and here. The movie my beloved B and I are both waiting-not-at-all-patiently to see is here All hail MIFF which is showing it, next month. And my favourite drool time website is here. What a full and dazzling life I lead… pfffffff

In the Happy News category, B and I are coming up on our 8th wedding anniversary! Consulting the Wiki world it seems traditional 8th anniversary gifts include salt and/or pottery. Ah yes, just what I’ve always…. beg pard? Salt and pottery? So, Lot’s wife and somewhere stonewear for her to live? Salt? “Are you hungry? Would you like some salt?” (Gawd I LOVE Reeves & Mortimer) Modern gifts don’t shed much more light, they include linens and/or lace. I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be difficult for him to find me a linen and/or lace iPhone V4? I’m not interested in the iPad. Just the name alone, come on! I wont have one. Nope, not unless one falls from the sky, for free. You understand?! Of course you do.

The thing that IS keeping me amused and occupied is designing house plans. I really am a latent architect. Yes, architect. (Keep your ill-fitting lesbian pants on.) It’s all big open spaces and hidden passage ways and a slide from top floor to the bottom. I’d be an architect too if I could find someone to do the technical drawing for me… and the compliance with building regulations (without altering my design)… and the budgets and the long line of clients who just walk in with their cheque book and a note, “Please just do what ever you want, you’re great.” Oh yes, THEN I’d be an architect for sure! I’d even get myself a stupid sechetary called Betty. And Betty would ‘look the other way’ when I was doing inappropriate things.

Wow, that derailed a bit, didn’t it? But I feel my point has been made. A point. Something. Quick, look over there, something bright and shiny!

heh

So that’s what’s up in MeLand. Nothing and everything. Nothing I want to be doing, except that stuff. My patience is wearing filo-thin.

Til next time, unless I go postal.

me xx

1 comment.

ABCDEF…WYZ A Make Your Own Words Kit.

Posted on May 13th, 2008 by prinny.
Categories: Stories.

Writing is such a joyful experience for me. Yes probably because I find it easy and I’m exceptionally good at it. Yes, that’s probably it. Hmm? Nope, not listening – that is most assuredly the reason! Comedy and I have had a bit of a fight. So I’ve turned away from it (that fickle whore) at the moment to throw down a bit of dramatic hoo-hah, Final Draft style. My *friend Rich asked, “What kind of drama? Is it funny??” heh That’s a suspicious comic for ya. Answer? Yeah, ’tis, actually. Well at least it got a few chuckles around the table-read the other day. (Humongous thanks to those who participated, btw.) It’s such a fine line betwixt the funny and the ‘oooh!” Fleety once said, “Funny + Sad = Art.” A saying I love. He also says, “Hurry, Daddy’s vein is going down.” But that’s the good thing about junkies. You don’t need to listen to e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g they say. Every second thing will do. I love the line good ‘funny’ treads. GOOD funny has truth to back it up. It has guts and a heart. Or, occasionally it’s just someone falling down. Hard. Ok, slapstick isn’t helping my cause here…

Chris Morris is about my favourite comedian/writer in the whole swollen world (as if you didn’t even hardly know!). Trying to explain him to people is an exercise in utter frilly, futility. He’s just… and then he says… then he got arrested for copying dogs… Do your brain a huge favour and just look him up. Jam (is sublime), Brass Eye, This Day Today, the exquisite Nathan Barley. B says, “he’s not for beginners” which sums him up beautifully. (Both B and Chris Morris!) He’s simply generations ahead of anything or anyone else on the planet. I think the only one who comes close is another Brit, **Simon Munnery. Completely different writers but both so incredible. And ‘incredible’ is such a shit word to describe either of them. They need their own word. Like, Fanmastical. Yes. They’re fanmastical and they both fill me with overwhelming (brain) avarice. But so what. I just wrote a show about ladies! So there! Take that you big… bums! (Woo, I am on FIRE!)

What’s my point? Oh yeah, words ‘n shit. They’re nice and good, aren’t they? My son is learning new words every day. The latest being ‘oh-gurt’. (Vanilla Jalna if you don’t mind.) It’s so fascinating to watch him grapple his way around what we say to him. We’re still having a bunch of fun with it. For instance, I’ll get up and leave the room and B will say to the baby, “If you were a better baby, she wouldn’t leave.” We don’t turn Family Guy off when he’s in the room, nor do we edit what we say to each other. (Ok, we’ve started to spell b-a-t-h and w-a-l-k but you get the picture.) i hope he loves language as much as we do. I also hope he has his father’s grammar skills and my… skin. I have lovely skin.

My other favourite thing (what I love) is my iPhone. Do I have an iPhone? Wait, lemme check… why yes iDo! We picked up it on our last visit back to ‘the old country’. It is simply the best piece of technology ever invented. I love how it rIngs and it gets eMail and how it cApitilises every second lEtter in a wOrd. I love it’s iPoddiness, it’s Google Maps and it’s full screen You-Tubeish bahaviour. I love that it makes my conversations smarter, my hair shinier and my lung function in the top 90% in the country! The only thing I love more than my iPhone (and my baby and hubby blah blah blah) is FREE WIFI! (Hold on for a ‘here’s what’s wrong with this country’ rant – you know what, go pop the kettle on). The friggen price of accessing the internet is completely and utterly retarded in the biggest tongue in the biggest hydrocephalic-head sense. Forget the mobile roaming shit – that’s a whole nuther point of contention – I’m just talking about regular garden variety broadband/dsl/adsl2 access. $60? We pay $15 for UNLIMITED access in LA. Why am I paying $60 a month in Melbourne? (Ok $50 for the bundled package but again, don’t go there girlfriend cause I have a backlog of pent up hate for Netspace – Nutscrape THE shittiest of the Telco’s currently raping the country – that is at fever pitched breaking point on any given day.) I’ll tell ya “why”. Cause a 1 or 2 gig allowance per month is arse-punching bullshit of the highest order! Even my mother uses more than a gig a month. WHY do we have ‘capped’ usage at all?! Is it because Oliver’s Mr Bumble himself sits at the helm of The Internets and doles it out as HE see’s fit? “Well ferfucksake sir, I’d like some bloody more!” Australia, we’re turning into a slipshod little backwater. Kids in Haiti and Mongolia have better internet access than we do! And if any of those kids participating in the OLPC program knew how screwed up it is here, they’d be outraged too. They would sign my email petition. “If you don’t pass this on to 10 friends, your goat will die.”

Yes I realise what I’ve just written.

Like I said, I’m good at words ‘n that.

Thank you.

It’s a gift.

A gift and a burden.

But mostly a gift.

I shall go fan myself with an old script (nice callback) and download some more stuff onto my iPhone (zing!).

“Did you hear, she has an iPhone?”

iFahey xxxx

*(gawd I hate MySpace. Rich, get a pretty website already!)
** (et tu, Munners? Et tu?)

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