Boss Of Everything

Almost a year…

Posted on July 11th, 2008 by prinny.
Categories: Stories.

Yup, crazy how fast time flies, eh? It’s almost a year since we officially pulled out of Iraq LA.

Yes we’ve been back ‘n forward but it hasn’t stuck. It’s like a cured cold sore… just don’t pick at it and she’ll be right. Don’t get run down oh and don’t kiss licentious girls. Spike Riley has adjusted well to being an inner city baby. He knows where the ‘good’ parks are, the ones with the wild swings and dangerously steep slides. He knows he gets an empty cup and a spoon to play with when we pop into Joe’s and I’ve been trying to teach him to yell out, “Go home junkie!” to well, the junkies who like to frequent our laneway to shoot up before shambling back home to Glen Iris.

B has also adjusted to hanging on to the underside of the hemisphere. He’s mastered a Hook Turn (impressive, yes) and general navigating is going well thanks to TomTom. He knows where Joe’s and the good park is too. Home for him will always be in Denver but Melbourne’s a bloody nice alternative.

I love, love, love being back around decent coffee and fantastic service. I love the trams rattling down Smith Street and the abundance of Vietnamese food at my fingertips. I love driving on the correct side of the road again, FREE HEALTHCARE, WEATHER and my iPhone. (Did I mention I have an iPhone… heh)

What I miss is… the cost of living! Holy crap shit’s expensive here! Where’s the cheap cars? The affordable clothes and accoutrement? Why am I mortgaging my house to buy a pair of baby shoes or some make-up? (Thank you Lord eBay, without you I’d be paying full price.) I miss being able to SMS Google when I’m lost and can’t find the address of the store shop I was looking for. CHEAP internet service (don’t get me started!!!!) I miss internet searching for things that actually have relevance to where I live. (Yes, I set my google home page to Australia but it still gives me Richmond VI search results.) I miss first release movies and tv shows I mean come on! Dexter is in series 3 now! (- what a corker of a show.) Yes, basically I miss all the horrible consumer things. The things for which An Over Abundance Of are the main reason the rest of the world Hates America. Yes, those lovely, lovely affordable things. *sigh*

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So, that Wigfield is a hoot, eh? For the uninitiated. Wigfield is another ravishing book from the minds of Sedaris, Colbert & Dinello – the Strangers With Candy crew. Here’s Amy as Cinnamon, one of Wigfield’s exotic dancers… “Do they know I’m albino?” Paul Dinello’s, Julian Childs. The proprietor of The Bunny Hutch, the local theatre (whose actors are mostly soft-furred and large-eared). And Stephen Colbert’s, Raven. Another of the town’s “big boned” exotique dancers.

B got me the audio book for our anniversary/mother’s day. It tells the story of the small town of Wigfield which is about to return to its former life – a creek – as the town’s dam is under orders to be dismantled. The book is a series of interviews with the town’s residents (who are beautifully photographed by Amy’s friend, Todd Oldham) played by Stephen Colbert, Amy Sedaris and Paul Dinello. It’s every bit as demented as you would expect from those three. Stephen has (as Nana’s all around the world would say) such a lovely speaking voice… blind people must love him. So much so in fact that I’ve decided from now on, I want all my books read to me by Stephen Colbert. Either in person (he’d be so comfortable perched on a small stool beside my bed like a raven… ok a yacky wee budgerigar) or, time permitting downloaded onto my iPhone’s (did I mention I have one?) iPod so I can chuckle myself to sleep. Do yourselves a favour, add Wigfield to your list. It’s worth every last second of your time.

That’ll do from my meandering brain today. Hope you’re all well enough to start sending me cash n cakes. I’ll even take a money flan… I’m just that kinda girl.

Me, not Albino xxxx

5 comments.

Roll Call.

Posted on April 15th, 2007 by prinny.
Categories: Stories.

I have been writing again. Have a nice lil sitcom script all packaged up with nowhere to go. As we speak it’s sitting on desks around the western seaboard holding executive cups of coffee, developing a nice coffee ring of confidence. But it is in development… [insert your own rimshot] The best you can hope for is someone is using a stamp mug yes, that would make it better. There’s also a screenplay or two cluttering up the living room or three of those who are ‘next in line’. It’s a funny ol’ bidness, this Biz of Show. Who really knows? I mean, aside from anyone with a sense of perspective and half a brain cell? Hmm? Yes, just what I thought! No one. You just never know… What I do know is – there’s a few lucky people out there who have lovingly crafted doorstoppers, crammed full of jokes and clever plot twists. Some people get all the luck. Damn you Spielberg!

It’s comedy festival time, down under. Unless you’re reading this from there which means, it’s comedy festival time around here. MICF really can throw up a show. The ones I recommend from afar are Comedium What more could you ask for? She’s a mad ol tart. Funny as muck AND she’ll read your fortune! (My other ‘arf, there she is <--- Haggar the Shithot Oracle.) For We Are Young And Free a smart play written by a stupidly talented little bint called, Lozz Clarke. Aaaaaand – not that I’ve ever seen them but I love the name, We are Klang. Let me know if the name is enough? Oh and just for the heck of it and because I love this beardy bugger, Dave Callan. If for no other reason than he has the best promo pic of the fest (click him down below, I promise he’ll be a perfect Irish gentleman).

In our house, movement is afoot. Plans are being made and mashed peas are being eaten with gusto by the youngest member of our clan. You can read all about his comings and goings on his blog. If he gets any cuter, I may just have to punch his tiny face off. More big people news will come as we sort out our grab bags. It’s not quite the Royal Melbourne Show but if you line up nicely, you might just get a Cadbury Showbag.

Til later when I can think of ways of being even more vague.

Me, Him and Ours xxxx

2 comments.