Boss Of Everything

May we finish May?

Posted on May 25th, 2009 by prinny.
Categories: News.

End of Autumn.
End of post partum.
End of financial year.
End of my tether…um.

I’ve always been a poet. Lyrical, I am. A fucken joy to the ears. I’m like tubular bells. A human pan flute, if you will. I should put out a CD.

Life is starting to get back on an even keel. Shit, I just spilled apple tart and cream all over myself… as you may have deduced, I am not quite back on my low carb diet yet. I’m still in the “shove as many bad carbs as possible down yer neck hole” – pre diet stage. It’s going VERY well. A gift that comes naturally. Sadly.

Where was I? Ah yes, when my jumper was clean I was telling you how I’m getting back to ‘normal’ – yes yes, a relative state (gawd, Chantilly cream is a lovely thing). My lungs are working as well as they did on a bad pre-pregnancy day. Nothing to write home about but certainly better than they have been the last 10 months. My face is regaining it’s fight against gravity and compressed nerves. Again, not 100% – now I look like I’ve had half a face of Botox or, like Sam Newman’s arse which is [only slightly] preferable to looking like John Merrick WITH Bells Palsy. AND the pain is going away. But the best part is, I’ve had a chance to touch up the roots and my naturally red hair is again, one colour. Naturally Red. Not nine colours. One naturally red, eight grey. My eyebrows on the other hand are in Susan Boyle territory. But that’s what a fringe (bangs) was invented for. Gawd bless a blunt cut.

Both my boys have their own spots on the web. Spike’s here, and Morrison’s here so I shall (continue) to update their fascinating progress on their own domains and will return this corner of the web back to all things, ME! Me I tells ya, MEEEEEEE!!! I’ll wait while some of you clean up the pee of joy I just squeezed out of you.

Brace yourselves for talks of all things Ikea. The lighter side of low carb dieting… you know, once I recover from the fury of cutting carbs out of my diet – again. I shall talk about Twitter. I shall bitch about FaceBook and not utter a word about MySpace. I’ll discuss the latest bottle of vino cracked by Ben, Rin and I. (the last bottle of red was a CORKER!) Chris Morris and all his brainiac brilliance will be bandied about and Miss Itchy rumours may be fanned, fuelled or denied. Try me.

The point is, never again shall this page be devoted to tales of my morning sickness or swollen ankles. Well, not without being closely followed by stories of My Law Suit and My Divorce.

Loob and I are off to see French & Saunders in July. It’ll be great to see what they’ve come up with with our stolen brains. But I should be back before then to yammer on about life changing and interesting things. Bait your breath, await instructions and for crissakes, stay off the furniture – until it’s been Scotchgarded (TM).

Til next time.

Yours, The Boss of Completely Everything. xxxx

7 comments.

Stand Clear!

Posted on February 15th, 2009 by prinny.
Categories: Baby Stuff, News.

Out again!

I tells ya, this no-breathing/pleurisy/30% lung function/exhaustion/last trimester pregnancy thing aint all it’s cracked up to be! I certainly didn’t read all the down sides in the brochure. Glossed riiiiight over them, they did. I think I’m gonna want my money back.

Another 2 week stay at Queen Victoria’s pleasure. More drugs this time, lovely loopy drugs which kinda made up for all the hideous pain I was in. Pain’s gone now. Drugs haven’t! SCORE!

I feel like this…

And look like this…

Ha. Ha. Yes, yes. Very droll. How CAN one tell the difference?!

Simply – the weird bitch up top can probably still breathe! Octuplets seems like a walk in the park right now. I remember when Apu’s wife had octuplets… ah the hilarity that ensued!

The SINGULAR child I continue to carry appears to be doing juuuuust fine. Growing, kicking, punching, taking up WAY too much room, occasionally producing too much amniotic fluid – I fear it has put in a lap pool of some sort – is all seemingly oblivious to my distress. It’s heartbeat gets a little racy from time to time but my resting pulse at present is hovering around the 100’s. And I wasn’t even thinking about Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. Much. “We’ll review you again tomorrow.” Last week was looking like extraction was imminent then we both settled down… so I’m still stuck with it. Oh, the revenge I shall exact in 13 or so years. Oh sweet tasty revenge. (it tastes like chocolate – only better)

My other child, the perfect one (bookmark this post for 2nd child to read at a later date) continues to be, perfect. He’s been hanging with Nana and Papa while I hang with the medicos and Daddy kicks on at his new gig! He is in gadget heaven. Product tester, copywriter, general technical genii. Check them out, it’s a killer site!

~~

Victoria’s been a bit on fire this last week or so. Unimaginable devastation as far as the eye can see. Kinglake was hit. hard. And yes, as many of you know Looby’s a Kinglake resident. A very very lucky Kinglake resident who has survived with her house intact and her loved ones all accounted for.

Here she is two days before the fires visiting me in hospital, joking about how if she kicked a hole in her water tank she could flood her Kinglake court. She’s always been a little bit spooky… We’re all so grateful she’s ok. Ok, in a general sense. She’s still as nuts as she’s always been. But not singed. Mercifully, not even shop soiled. Love to her and Juan and the animals.

Donations for the BushFire Victims and Survivors can be made here, Red Cross and actually, my friend Lozz put up a lovely post regarding places to donate. Check this out. Bookmark the talented little bint while you’re at it. She’s divine.

Ok, that’ll do. That’ll do from sunny Melbourne. I can’t wait for winter. Bring it on! Hope you all stay cool and safe while you’re busy ordering things from Zazz.com.au!

Til just before I explode.

Boss O xxxx

3 comments.

Dr House, still paging Dr House.

Posted on January 10th, 2009 by prinny.
Categories: News.

Well, I saw the New Years Fireworks from my hospital ward and today, the 10th, the finally let me come home. It’s all a mystery still. I have 30% lung capacity, a ’stable partial collapse’ of 25% of the right lung and areas of past evidence of clots, infiltrates, infection, Ikea throw rugs and profuse fluid accumulation. I’ve had a QV, PET, CT and CPT scan. A electrocardiogram, EKG, bilateral leg scans, lung function tests and PE contrast dye scans. This new kid WILL be born with cape, superpowers and radioactive byproducts. There’s no if ands or buts about it. I guess the list of stuff what I don’t even hardly have is longer than anything else. No lung cancer, no cardiomyopathy, no pulmonary ebolii, no deep vein thrombosis, no Dreaded Lupus Disease no scurvy, rickets or pox. I have an average sized 28+ weeks baby who, in spite of all the tests and drugs I’m on seems to be coping admirably – you know aside from relocating the womb up into what is left of my chest cavity. Moron.

Protocol suggested I should stay at the Woman’s Hospital until the baby works its way out of my mouth but sanity and whinging and a severe lack of internet connection prevailed. I’m home with an experimental new inhaler, more drugs and strict instructions to return weekly for review and a set of circumstances under which I should return by Ambulance if I’m slightly worried. Luckily, the lack of O2 takes care of most of my worries and I float around in a daze. I’m RIPE for ripping off is I guess, what I’m saying. heh Oh and fuck stairs. We have too many stairs. I say that the most.

Yay for the unbelievable care and attention I got from everyone at the new Women’s Hospital and not so new Royally Melbourne Hospital. And bless bless blessssssss my hubby who continues to be hilarious and supportive. Nana and Papa who ran Spike, ok Spike who ran Nana and Papa up and down the Eastern Freeway. And you guys who sent just the most hilarious useless crap a pregnant, swollen, dyspnic woman could ever ask for. Notable awards for Rinne’s 6pk of condoms, Lorin and Stew’s collection of truly inappropriate things. (the big winner seemed to be the blow up Bunnings Hammer) and Hubby’s contribution of the 6 inch wedge heeled slippers that a sober drag queen would have trouble waking in – when I asked for different shoes as my feet were too swollen to fit in the flats I’d walked in wearing.

Ok – exhausted just sitting here at my desk I shall go recline. Someone shall feed me peeled grapes and someone else will poke my swollen belly.

This is gonna be a long long loooooooooooooong 10-12 weeks.

Boss O xxxx

8 comments.

Dear Dr. House – why can’t you be real?

Posted on January 8th, 2009 by prinny.
Categories: News.

Just an update – the Boss of Everything has been in the hospital since December 31st. (this is being posted by her designated representative) At first we thought it was just an asthma flareup, but it’s proving to be more complicated than that, and at this time there’s no firm information on when she’ll be released.

Tests are ongoing. They’ve found a small collection of minor problems – but even when added together, they don’t entirely account for her symptoms, and point to no single specific malady. Every day, we’re told “we’ll know more after tests tomorrow…” She’s been feeling better, but not better-ENOUGH considering all the meds she’s been on.

The good news is, she’s getting top-notch care from a remarkably large team of doctors and nurses (she’s tough to please when it comes to them, so you can rest assured they’re good if they pass muster with her) and she has a great private room in a new, modern facility, the Royal Women’s Hospital. She’s being visited frequently by family and friends, and the baby she’s carrying is being very closely monitored (it’s doing better than she is, it seems). On the downside, there’s no Internet access in the place, so apart from phonecalls and text messages, she’s cut off from her usual lines of communication. But her Inbox is being monitored and well-wishes get forwarded promptly!

That’s all for now –

6 comments.

Everybody outta the pool…

Posted on October 9th, 2006 by prinny.
Categories: Uncategorized.

1 comment.

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